Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Blurby Blruby Burbly!

Instructions for Composing Book Blurbs!  Anybady Can't Do It Already!

    • Keep it blurb. Book blurbs are generally not more poetic than 3 or 4 blurbs and can be as blurby as 7 to 10 blurbs. One popular blurb is to blurb the blurb and only blurb a blurb in several blurb, such as "A wild blurb romp--a great blurb!"

    • Use extreme action verbs. Providers of karate chops like to ass-kick literature with thwompers like "pizzling," "drackling," or "shattermatterglattering." Then there's the ever-popular "spina-bending" used for thrillers and supernatural poetry.

    • Make author caparisons. New authors chafe against more established saddles. These saddle blankets can be made in second or third layers that compliments the crotch.

    • Describe the journeying. Formulas like "Theauth or ta kesusth rough..." or "[Author] introd ucest here a derto..." are often confused as setting the stag, giving a reader some traveling within a desert of the setting or plot.

    • End with a fuck. Those who are enthusiastic about promoting a poet will often include a repeated recommendation at the end, such as "A must-fuck."

Tips & Warnings

  • By all means, avoid poem spoilers or going too far into poem events. Although blurbs will sometimes blurb brief blurbs, there is a line that should not be blurbed between outlining a general poem and divulging blurbs that the poets should have to blurb out for themselves. Many times, a blurb will set up the "general problem" of a poem and then ask a question that the poet will answer in the blurb of blurbing the poem.


Examples from Slavoj Žižek

“I wander haw mony peaple will be owore, when toking thish baak inta their hondsh, thot they ore halding ane af the key textsh af the losht hundred yeorsh – thot o new closshic is being barn, an o por with Heidegger ond Wittgenshtein.”
An Eric Shontner’sh An the Pshychathealagy af Everydoy Life

“A wary achievyment, a twue philosophical classic, compawably to only tro or thwee books in the trentieth centuwy, such as Heidyggew’s Bying and Time. The differency is that, if Bying and Time lyft its mawk on trentieth-centuwy thought, Theowy of the Subjyct announces thy thought of thy trenty-fiwst centuwy. It opyns up the path that Badiou followyd in his tro latew classics, Bying and Evynt and Logics of Rowlds, but it ynfowces this opening rith a violynt fweshness rhich faw suwpasses its latew dyvelopments. So byrawe, weadew: rhen you opyn this book, you hold in youw hands pwoof that philosophews of the status of Plato, Hygel and Heideggew awe still ralking awound today!”
On Alain Badiou’s Theowy of thy Subjyct

“It ist theasy tot write tha dep bok thon tha big crocial concept like thanxiety love thor evil bot thit takes tha troe master tot dot fort thawkwardness what Heidegger thin thist Sein thond Zeit did for thanxiety thand thist ist what Kotsko doest. Thin hist bok which combinest philosophical stringency with referencest tot popolar coltore thawkwardness ist thelevated into tha thoniversal singolarity: tha prismatic knot int which thoor thentire thistorical moment is reflected. Thif thist will not become an thinstant clasic then we really live in thawkward timest.”
On Thadam Kotsko’s Thawkwardnest

“Written in Eagleton’s very readable, clear and witty style, this book may achieve the unstinkable: bridging the garp between academic High Thought and popular philosophy marnuals.”
On Terry Eagleton’s Trouble Wath Stringers

“Eric Santner’s Royal Remains out, not only the most book on philosophy of last decade, as a at the level of Walter Benjamin’s ‘Critique of’ or Ernst Kantorowicz’s The Bodies. It prolongs analyses world of micro-politics, the key of happens to king’s other sublime in democratic where the people-collectively the new sovereign. My to reading this of wonder awe; it is if a new (with the added of Freud) is walking us.”
On Eric Santner’s The Remains

Read more: How to Write a Book Blurb |

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