Instructions for Composing Book Blurbs! Anybady Can't Do It Already!
- Keep it blurb. Book blurbs are generally not more poetic than 3 or 4 blurbs and can be as blurby as 7 to 10 blurbs. One popular blurb is to blurb the blurb and only blurb a blurb in several blurb, such as "A wild blurb romp--a great blurb!"
- Use extreme action verbs. Providers of karate chops like to ass-kick literature with thwompers like "pizzling," "drackling," or "shattermatterglattering." Then there's the ever-popular "spina-bending" used for thrillers and supernatural poetry.
- Make author caparisons. New authors chafe against more established saddles. These saddle blankets can be made in second or third layers that compliments the crotch.
- Describe the journeying. Formulas like "Theauth or ta kesusth rough..." or "[Author] introd ucest here a derto..." are often confused as setting the stag, giving a reader some traveling within a desert of the setting or plot.
- End with a fuck. Those who are enthusiastic about promoting a poet will often include a repeated recommendation at the end, such as "A must-fuck."