Monday, May 20, 2013

Atwood Finally Admits to Biting Cohen



More than three months after the incident occurred, Toronto Maple Leafs forward Margaret Atwood has reportedly admitted that she bit Montreal Canadiens forward Leonard Cohen in a game on Feb. 9.

According to a report by hockey writer Dmitry Chesnokov on the Puck Daddy blog on Yahoo! Sports, Atwood discussed the controversial moment from the game that the Maple Leafs won 6-0.

"The incident? It wasn't that much," Atwood told Chesnokov. "(Cohen) was grabbing me and I bit him. Don't stick your hands where you shouldn't. There was nothing left to do but bite him."

Cohen told the media that he had a tetanus shot following the incident. The NHL conducted a telephone interview with both players but did not levy any punishment to Atwood since it could not determine for sure if the bite had taken place.

"It was an emotional game," Cohen said two days after the incident. "It was like the Isle of Wight and it got out of hand. People were fired up."

Both Atwood and Cohen received 10-minute misconducts for their part in the scuffle, and the Leaf player received an extra two minutes for roughing. "Whatever," shrugged Atwood.

Monday, May 13, 2013

If Poets Were Real People...

this is what they'd look like!

Lyric Poets


Flarf Poets


Confessional Poets

CEO Poets


Neo-Lyric Poets

Conceptual Poets
Visual Poets

Pantoum Poets

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Top 5 Reasons that You are the Justin Trudeau of Poetry

1. Your author photo
2. Your author photo
3. Your author photo
4. Your author photo
5. Your author photo

Friday, April 12, 2013

whispered nothings overheard among the audience at the season finale of So You Think You Can Poetry!

"How bout that palindromic pirouette from Carmine Starnino? What a surprise from such a hardcore new formalist!"

"Can you believe that Ted Berrigan hasn't been voted off yet? Last week's solo sonnet do-si-do was for crap."

"I think I'm in love with Dennis Lee's shorts. Not his epigrams or what's inside his shorts, just the cloth of his skivvies."

"That Mary Ruefle, she seems to erase her every shadow feather step and apparition jelly arm stretch as she performs them."

"Jen Bervin could sequin my dance floor any day."

"Who let Rick Mercer into the competition? What a refreshing force! His enchulfas equals flarfy political didacticism!"

"Ode to Lycra: Stretchy, fetchy, kvetchy unitchy, retchy... spindix!"


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Ron Silliman's Recently Received Toys

Recently Received
Toys
Monopoly. Parker Bros. 2012.
Deck of Cards (Standard Diamond set). Vegas Editions. 2013.
Rubik's Cube. Rubik's Cube Enterprises. 1992.
Etch-a-Sketch. Irwin Toys. 1985.
Atari 64. Atari Co. 1989. 
Slingshot. Homemade. N.d.

  Toys (Other)
Play-Doh--Assorted Colours. Crayola. 2013.
Stuffed Poodle: Basket. Hasbro. 1937.
A rubber band. No publisher indicated.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Larkin and Amis Get Hot: the Letters

Dear King,
  I'm fed up with this librarian's stick body. Let's get hawt.
Yours,
Larks

Dear Larky,
  I'm fed up with this novelist's paunch, too. How should we begin?
Yours,
Am-ass

Dear King,
http://www.jillianmichaels.com/fit/
Yours,
L

Dear Larkx,
  A revelation! I've already got a 6-pack!
Yours,
K

Dear King,
  Nutrition is key. Lean proteins, dawg--don't forget.
Yours,
Philip Lackin' Body Fat
ps
Just did 10 chin-ups!

Dear Larko,
  I enclose my After picture. Not bad if I do so say so myself about my own hot self!
Yours,
King of the Hot Guys Who Are Writers
"Don't forget to have one liquid protein meal a day, Larksman!"--the Kinger




Dear King of Kings,
  We both got it going on. My "after" attached. Bring on the groupies, son!
Yours,
Larkin Lady Machine

"I'm so into burpees right now"--Larko Calrissian