Tuesday 13 December 2011

Scrotch & Snuff Poems!

The Worst Thing I Ever Smelled Other Than Poo
by Harrison B.
Right up in my face
In the den of the devil
My dad just ripped one

I Got Stinky Feet
by Dennis Domrzalski
Friday, August 29, 2003

I don't know much 'rithmetic,
I can't spell retreet.
I can't fly a fighter plane,
But I got stinky feet.

My feet stink worse that laziness,
And worthless dumb-cluck slobs
Who say they really want to work
Then only take six jobs

My feet stink worse than Christmas time
And smiling kids with toys,
And happy, fatso Santa Claus,
Good cheer, peace, love and joys.

My feet stink worse than slobs who fart
On buses and subways,
And then pretend that they don't stink
And fart, fart, fart away.

My feet stink worse than old people
Who always walk so slow,
And block my way and make me late
For everywhere I go.

My feet stink worse than lawyer's jokes
And goofs who laugh at them.
They stink much worse than month-old sweat
And used car salesmen.

My feet stink worse than liquor stores
That don't stay open late,
And stupid, holy Christian goofs
Who say it's wrong to hate.

Pigs who don't flush toilets
And don't change underwear,
Slobs who sneeze into their hands
Then wipe them in their hair.

Scum who never brush their teeth,
Ugly broads who sing,
Stupid drugged-up college kids
Who don't know anyting.

Fat people who wear tight clothes,
Wimps who never fight,
Cheesed-up stupid liberals
Who always think their right.

Fools who cherish friendship,
People who eat beets,
Po-lite dudes who leave their chairs
To give old ladies seats.

Chiropractors, nuns and priests,
Firemen and cops,
Journalists and cab drivers,
Guys in butcher shops.

Carpenters and movie stars,
Goofs who play the drums,
Mailmen and foot soldiers,
Produce clerks and bums.

Car mechanics, laborers,
Babes who pick their nose,
More than these disgusting creeps
Stink my smelly toes.

My feet stink worse than people,
And life and wind and rain,
Sunshine, shelter food and clothes,
Drugs, light, shoes, desks and pain.

Soil, weather, oxygen,
Water, rocks and air,
Paper money, bank accounts,
Hillbillies with hair.

Civilization, varnish,
Solar systems, pride,
Highways, books and dead people,
A gap-toothed ugly bride.

My feet stink worse than stink itself,
And worse than God is good.
They smell much more than Satan sins
And than a tree has wood.

Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink,
Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, Stink,
Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink,
Stink, stink, stink, stink, stink, stink.

My feet stink worse than artists!

My mother had a canker sore.
My father had a wart.
My brother had a carbuncle
Much bigger than a fort.

My auntie had an ugly face.
My grandpa had a blister.
My grandma was a bad-breath case.
Four tumors had my sister.

My cousin never had a friend.
My gal was hooked on dope.
My smelly niece began a trend
To stop the use of soap.

Their warts and tumors don't phase me,
Disease I sure can beat.
No sickness they contract, of course,
Can stink worse than my feet!

A maggot ain't a pretty sight,
And not much fun to eat,
But if you want to, take a bite
Out of my stinky feet.

My brother ain't a cherry tree.
My house can't read or write.
A toothpick ain't an envelope.
A dark cave ain't so bright.

A mansion's not a paperclip.
A dead man's not a chair.
A snowball ain't a handkerchief.
A cockroach ain't a pear.

Three monkeys don't an icecube make.
A snowflake don't make heat.
All the stink combined on earth
Can't stink worse than my feet!

I'm the big-shot king of stink;
The smelly number one.
Ain't no two feet on this earth
Can stink like mine have done.

My feet stink worse than everything--
Say hallelujah ho--
Smell these putrid toes just once
And to the grave you'll go.

My feet stink, stink my feet,
My stink, feet, feet, stink feet.
Stink feet, feet, stink, stink feet,
Feet, feet, stink, stink, feet, feet.

I'll die some day, though life I crave,
Death humans just can't beat.
But satisfied I'll hit the grave,
'Cause I had stinky feet!

















































































Caca Dookie Stinky Stinky
by Pablo Sanchez


Caca
Anus
Crap
Anul

Dookie
Omazingly powerful
Out cast
Killing
Instinctively laying in your underwear
Evil

Stinkey
Terrible odor will make you cry
It makes you want to die
Never ever try to breathe
Killing you instantly
Everything you ever did
Yes will be gone like a pigs.... food

Stinkey
Taking your life
It makes your cells dies..... thus giving you more hair
Never gives you a chane
Kaka gets in your pants
Everyone will laugh at you because
You smell like poo



Pumpkin Pie  

by Mick

As I sit and write this poem,
My butt is heaving' and a blowing',
Stinking up this bathroom stall,
I'm trying not to spray the wall,
I can't control it, I wanna die,
It must have been, that pumpkin pie.

This original potty poem was written
and copyrighted© by Mick™
Non-Commercial use for this poetry
is allowed on washroom stalls
or with a link to this site only


Stinky

 by Tyler (12 years old)
Stinky is not a fresh Febreze scent
Stinky is a slice of year old cheese under your bed
Stinky is passing a garbage dump every day
Stinky is not showering until May
Stinky sounds like garbage trucks rolling down the street
Stinky sounds like the garbage disposal grinding tainted meat
Another word for stinky is odorous
One thing about stinky is you will plug your nose


 
fartbeat                                                by Danny Rocka                                              Am I alone in your fart?
Have I hope with your fart?
She's such a teaser, she's such a fart.
Give me a reason or gimme a bum.
Am I alone in your fart, or am I alone... ?
It tears me afart.

pooing all I can poo, just to be close to food.
Every time that we eat, I skip a fartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we eat, I skip a fartbeat.
Give me an evening, or give me a diet.
I'll show you the time, of your life.
I'll walk you home safe, from the fart.
I'll give you my faggot, I'll give you my fart.
But she won't come farting tonight, She's having the time of her diet.

pooing all I can poo, just to be close to food.
Every time that we eat, I skip a fartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we eat, I skip a fartbeat.
I do diets, she does fartbreak.
I did diet, till she broke my fart.
I do diet, she does fartbreak.
I did diet, till she broke my fart.
I do diet, she does fartbreak.
I did diet, till she broke my fart.
I do diet, she does fartbreak.
I did diet, till she broke my fart.
pooing all I can poo, just to be close to food.
Every time that we eat, I skip a fartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we eat, I skip a fartbeat.
I skip a fartbeat for you.
pooing all I can poo, just to be close to food.
Every time that we eat, I skip a fartbeat.
Always up for a laugh, she's a pain in the arse.
Every time that we eat, I skip a fartbeat.
I skip a fartbeat for poo!

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