Mark Edmundson: Good afternoon.
GP: Marky Mark!
GP: The Mark! El Marko!
GP: Markimillion! Markibillion!
GP: Meester Mark! Master Mark!
GP: Markman! Markwoman! Markgender! Markjudithbutler! Dr. Mark! Dr. Markest! Dr. Maaaark!
GP: What do you mean by "leafing through a volume of Robert Lowell's poetry?"
ME: I mean--
GP: What does "leafing" mean?
ME: Leafing? Well it means to read or turn pages.
GP: Uh huh.
GP: And what does "subtlety and melancholy grace" mean?
GP: What does "haunted" mean and what is a "haunting sound"?
GP: And what does "ambition" mean?
ME: If you'll--
GP: More to the point, look at this image here, please:
Are you looking at this photograph of yourself?
GP: Okay--do you consider this a full-lotus position? Cos it's not. You're cheating here.
GP: Now look at this pic, please:
Now, why did you ask the Yale graduating class of 2012 here to pull your finger? Why'd you do that?
GP: We think it was totally ambitious and we applaud you. Good day, sir, and g'morning poetry!