8. Because rumour has it, Rough Trade will be performing a confidential show at Cavelier-De LaSalle High School.
7. Because pigeons.
6. Because you can subject Ken Babstock to reading such lines as "Boogers are healthy, despite being sometimes crunchy" & "The dullness of the hatchet could slumber a Methodist."
5. Because you can forfeit the festivities to bang a pan.
4. Because "litpop" anagrams into "plop it."
3. Because, according to the FAQ page, there are cool triangles.
2. Because St Vincent is reportedly dating again.
1. Because you're not a wimp, not yet.