Mein Kampf, Gesundheit!My life is a cacophonous opera.
I HEAR YOU.
My life is a bad meal, tasteless and inedible.
ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT?
My life is a goblet of brine.
BUT, DO YOU SWALLOW?
My life is a rotten book, boring chapter after boring chapter.
DO YOU THINK YOU'LL FINISH IT?
My life is a bad play, meaningless act after meaningless act.
WHY NOT JUST GET UP AND WALK OUT? NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU STAY. WHY DO YOU BOTHER?
Mein kampf, mein kampf!
God Kicks Bob In His Achilles' WienerA Haiku
That's how I pictured myself
So God proved me wrong
A Man Walks Into A BarHowdy, pal, what'll it be?
I'D LIKE TO QUAFF A KIND NEPENTHE.
Sorry, pal, we don't get much call for those fancy imports round here. Or is that a microbrew?
WELL THEN, HOW ABOUT A BOTTLE OF SPARKLING RIVER LETHE WATER?
Look, pal, we don't sell no fancy French foo foo water. You might want to try that bar down the road.
NO, NO, I WANT ALZHEIMERS.
Al's Hammer. Wait, I know that one. Isn't that like a Jack Hammer only with gin instead of vodka?
NO, I'D LIKE AMNESIA.
Look, pal, you tell me how to make it and I'll mix it right up.
MAYBE A BLOW TO THE HEAD WILL DO THE TRICK.
Ahhh! That one I know. Here you go, six shots of Bourbon, a splash of Vermouth, and a dash of Bitters, one Blow To The Head.
SOUNDS GREAT, YOU SEE IT'S JUST THAT I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO FORGET THIS LAST YEAR.
I hear you, pal, but you may not want to drink that so fast.
JUST KEEP EM COMIN!