2. you find a strand of hair in your haiku
3. you read a new book of poems and get a blister
4. you're half way through a new poem and you find a half-eaten worm
5. you leave a really tasty plate of leftovers in the poem and then somebody eats the leftovers
6. your Dad calls you up and says "I just read your new poems" and then he hangs up
7. you tell a person at a party "I'm a poet" and that person puts his or her feces on your skinny jeans
8. you send a poetry manuscript away to M&S on Tuesday and on Wednesday you get an email from M&S with only the subject line: members only
9. you eat too many cherries and you shit yourself in your poem
10. you look in the mirror and you have poetry stuck in your teeth...
Hey poet--don't you fkin hate that?
after, and with apologies to, kme