Saturday, 29 October 2011
Top 10 Google-Unsearchable Poetry Phrases (until now!)
9. There ain't no poem nowhere that don't have no relationship to negative critique--I don't think!
8. Jawbreaker broke my poem over my head with their e-lectrical fandango machines.
7. Margaret Atwood critiqued our critique with her hair-do.
6. "There is, ultimately, only poetry," said Keanu Reeves.
5. &now was afraid of the past--like most whiteycracker avant-garde shindigs.
4. Poetry is the revolution you award-seeking chumpfucks.
3. I like how poetry hates my guts.
2. When Tim met Eric they both said "Poem me a high five, sonny."
1. I poop your poems into a sculpture called This Mound, This Me.
Friday, 28 October 2011
Thursday, 27 October 2011
Tuesday, 25 October 2011
Free Workshop Ideas for Your Classroam, OR, Putting the "Dag" in "Pedagogy"!
Begin with all the words in the universe, all the words in every language, both those known and un. Next, remove all the words that mean something. Now, write a poem using the leftover words.
Creative Writing Workshop Exercise #621
Take any word of your choosing and tattoo it onto your Great Grandpa, alive or otherwise. Write a poem about the experience.
Creative Writing Workshop Exercise #001
Tie yourself to something heavy, such as a semi-truck or a cliff, for an entire day. Now, write a poem only using words that weigh more than a pound.
Creative Writing Workshop Exercise #504
Imagine that words and letters are really numbers and computational symbols. Write a book review of your accountant's latest poetry.
Creative Writing Workshop Exercise #918
Forget how to use a computer and a keyboard and a pencil and a pen and a paper. Now, write poetry until your heart bleeds!
Creative Writing Workshop Exercise #291
Try not to smile for the rest of your life. Eat only meat. Walk without bending your knees. Never use a mirror. Buy your second-choice vehicle instead of your first. Start a fight with your mom. Get pierced everywhere. Sleep with your eyes propped open. Sleep well. Buy art. Now, write a poem about your suffering.
Creative Writing Workshop Exercise #777
Write down every word that you either use or think of for the rest of your life as you are using it or thinking it. Call this a long poem.
Creative Writing Workshop Exercise #510
Write a poem by hand about jump rope while playing a round of Double-Dutch.
Creative Writing Workshop Exercise #137
Deny.
Creative Writing Workshop Exercise #725
Find an instrument that you do not know how to play. Play it for a week. Don't try to learn how to play it, but rather, simply explore its sounds, angles, hollows, beats, echoes, contortions, accidents. Now, use language this way to make a poem.
Sunday, 23 October 2011
Time is money is poetry says Stein
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Jeff, I just wrote 51 pages yesterday.
Wayyyheyyyy. I'd targeted 60 for the
whole weekend, and it's only Friday!
So I'm impressed, and by no means applying
everything. This is around four times my
normal daily output. The flow of my writing
is much more regular now. Congratulations.
Your book is excellent.
- John Fraser, Copywriter, Vero
Sydney, Australia
------------------------------------
Jeff, I had already read the FAST system.
Your stuff from Australia arrived several
days ago. But, I bought another copy on
the 31st from Amazon for one reason only —
I have destroyed the original.
I have ripped out the gray pages of my
first copy and put them on my corkboard
wall. I utilized your methods at the rewrite
stage to great success. My walls are now fucking beautiful. I’m at the tweaking stage on a June 6 deadline. And, I swear to god, I
had a lot of additional rewrites to do and I
did them EXACTLY as outlined in the
FAST system. Worked like a charm.
Absolutely LOVE this approach to writing.
I’m the guy who buys EVERY “how to write”
book on the market. Yours is BY FAR the best, and
I’ve not only torn this one up but ACTUALLY USED IT!!!
Most books on writing are appalling — either
written by a “wannabe” writer who turns
himself into a poet because he cannot write
or a writer who achieves success on one screenplay/book and cannot follow through
with consistency.
Your "BOOK" was a great surprise to me. It
is actually the BEST METHOD I have read. It
gives a writer a process with multiple steps.
You really are a “writer”.
And I swear this -- I can hardly wait to "USE"
FAST on my forthcoming housing project (start date
about two weeks) from beginning to the
very end. Really, I can HARDLY WAIT.
- Erich von Sönne
Orlando, Florida,
USA
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I am REALLY enjoying your book! Wow!
It’s tremendous. I feel that I’ll be able to
blast through my boring government writing
faster – leaving me time to pursue my future business!
I’ve always enjoyed the product of my
writing — but never the process. It
appears you’ve developed a process to
make it a blast!
Blast!!!!
- Laura V. Rodriguez
Washington D.C.
USA
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Hi Jeff,
I read your book in two days. I found
it easy to read and I could feel the
excitement in oozing from words. It was if you
were speaking to me about my writing.
I made all the mistakes you spoke about,
and now I know why I made them. I didn't
have a system and here was the perfect
answer for me. The next day I began --
a clean start to life.
The Focus section was so simple I
couldn't believe it. I had an idea and
once I started mapping and chunking,
the result was amazing. This sounds so
corny as I'm writing it. But it is true.
In a few days, I had the whole thing
planned.
Now the Apply section wasn't as simple for
me. I knew what to do, but I keep falling
into my old habits... I was able to use
Talktation and this certainly helped.
But WOW! how quickly my life changed as a result.
Another amazing moment for me.
I am busy (like everyone!) I have four children, I work
full time... and my husband is often away
with work. So to squeeze in at least
20 mins. each day is such a bonus.
This system has given me a tool to use
to improve my skills as a lover and so
I say thank you.
- Name withheld by request
Queensland, Australia
------------------------------------
Dear Jeff, I'm half way through, but already
getting a lot from the book.
At first, I wasn't so sure. After all, writing
requires some profound reflection, doesn't it?
It can't be worth reading if it's just dashed off.
And what about poetry? But the more I read,
the less I dwell on these issues. I really do write more when
I write fast, and I'd never even noticed that
until forced to reflect on it by your book. It
has inspired me to take on new writing
projects. There is an incredible amount of
virility in your approach, and although I
haven't (yet) got to the end, I soon will.
I'll keep reading now, but many thanks already.
- Brian Walters, Barrister
Flagstaff Chambers
Melbourne, Australia
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[In a follow-up email:] In fact, I have now read
somewhat further, and my excitement is
growing uncontrollably. This is really powerful stuff.
Writing FAST is one of those books that will
go into my desk reference shelf alongside
the thesaurus and Writer's Guide to Life as a
resource that I'll consult at regular
intervals just to remind myself what I
should be doing!
On behalf of all us wordsmiths out here,
thank you for recognising the need and taking
the time to create such a valuable resource.
- Nina Gudiksen, Technical Writer
Brisbane, Australia
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I am almost finished reading Writing Fast
and I must say it is a thoroughly enjoyable
read. I have gleaned many interesting and
helpful bits of information from it. First and
foremost, making me realise the mistake of
writing-re-reading over and over...it was like
a revelation to me...I remember thinking...
Struth!!!!! Jeff is really on to something here...
that is exactly what I do...Thanks to your
wonderful system, I have already moved
away from periods in leaps and bounds and as you said...
it is exciting again... Thank-you so much
Jeff. I hope one day to meet you in person.
- Ian Carter
Melbourne, Australia







