10 Tips on How to Write More Badly

1. Writing is an exercise. Everyone loves a fit writer. Spend some time exercising so that you look gooood in that author photo!

2. Set goals based on output, not input. Write more, read less.

3. Find a voice; don't just "get published." Even if your academic publishing record is thin, say as much as you can, often and publicly. This will make people want to publish you.

4. Give yourself time. Push yourself to the limits. Time how long it took you to write that last paper, then try to beat that time! Keep a record: it's satisfying to see your progress in numbers!

5. Everyone's unwritten work is brilliant. So don't bother to prepare for conferences. You can definitely wing it and still be awesome.

6. Pick a puzzle. Dump the pieces out on the floor. You might loose a couple, but just jam some from other puzzles into the gaps. No one will really notice in the long run.

7. Write, then squeeze the other things in. Citations, style, grammar, even content is secondary to getting the word count right!

8. Not all of your thoughts are profound. But they will help you maintain a following on social media! Frequency is essential to maintaining a profile and keeping in the attention of readers. Plus publishers love an active self-promoter!

9. Your most profound thoughts are often wrong. But it's okay to be wrong as long as you can be convincing!

10. Edit your work, over and over. Recycling your work is okay, as long as it's different enough. Change at least one sentence in every paragraph, two sentences when you're starting to gain some attention. It'll pay off; famous writers don't need to edit a word!