Poetry Events We'd Like to See

• Two poets on stage, one poet sticks band-aids on the other poet's tongue
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• Instead of reading the poems, the poets fall off the stage (head first)
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• Poet, while reading the poem, pretends to self-immolation but then forgets to pretend
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• Poets are replaced with children and the children tell everybody about the future
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• The poets' most serious poems are used as place-mats at Denny's
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• Three poets on stage invent a new genre: Whistle Poetry!
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• Anything involving instant oatmeal
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• Everyone in the city is given name-tags that say Hi My Name is Poet
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• What about a flush mob where people rush into public bathrooms/restrooms/washrooms and everyone takes turns reciting Eluard's "No More Alone"