Festivus
by Karl Stewart Twas the night before Festivus
so what of the restofus
is this just George's Holiday?
We all have our grievances
and some may have strengths
but for others it is just one more day.
The airing of grievance does dinner adorn
let's gripe at the world
giving each one his turn.
In so many ways disappointment you bring
and of your shortcomings
all now we shall sing.
When dinner is done
dad wrestles each one
till we pin dear old dad to the floor.
For feats of great strength
are witnessed at length
as is custom from now ever more.
And what of the tree? I sent ours a packing
just a shiny new pole
I find tinsel distracting.
Then it is stories of events that I spin
of how Festivus Miracles
reunited old friends.
It comes once a year bringing way too much fuss
the common man's Holiday
for the restofus, it's called Festivus.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so what of the restofus
is this just George's Holiday?
We all have our grievances
and some may have strengths
but for others it is just one more day.
The airing of grievance does dinner adorn
let's gripe at the world
giving each one his turn.
In so many ways disappointment you bring
and of your shortcomings
all now we shall sing.
When dinner is done
dad wrestles each one
till we pin dear old dad to the floor.
For feats of great strength
are witnessed at length
as is custom from now ever more.
And what of the tree? I sent ours a packing
just a shiny new pole
I find tinsel distracting.
Then it is stories of events that I spin
of how Festivus Miracles
reunited old friends.
It comes once a year bringing way too much fuss
the common man's Holiday
for the restofus, it's called Festivus.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Festivus
Many have Christmas for holiday cheer
And Jews with Menorahs hold Hanukkah dear
The rest of us empty of our own special day
Until Frank Costanza, non-conformed, led the way
Festivus, Festivus, the day he devised
Four major pieces, you should be so advised
A Festivus Pole stands erect, unadorned
“Tinsel distracts me,” as Frank has since warned
Airing of Grievances would begin dinner plans
The disappointment in loved ones is heard by demands
“I’ve got a lot of problems with you people,” Frank’d angrily spit
And all ‘round the table, “Now you will hear about it!”
Then holiday supper does, of course, have its role
Feats of Strength are required for the night to be whole
If Festivus strikes you as especially clever
Make checks to “The Human Fund,” a “Money for People” endeavor
Copyright SGW 2009
Many have Christmas for holiday cheer
And Jews with Menorahs hold Hanukkah dear
The rest of us empty of our own special day
Until Frank Costanza, non-conformed, led the way
Festivus, Festivus, the day he devised
Four major pieces, you should be so advised
A Festivus Pole stands erect, unadorned
“Tinsel distracts me,” as Frank has since warned
Airing of Grievances would begin dinner plans
The disappointment in loved ones is heard by demands
“I’ve got a lot of problems with you people,” Frank’d angrily spit
And all ‘round the table, “Now you will hear about it!”
Then holiday supper does, of course, have its role
Feats of Strength are required for the night to be whole
If Festivus strikes you as especially clever
Make checks to “The Human Fund,” a “Money for People” endeavor
Copyright SGW 2009
The Night Before Festivus
'Twas the night before Festivus, when all through Charm City
Ravens fans were stirring and even felt giddy.
The jerseys were hung by the chimney with flare,
In hopes that Joe Flacco soon would be there.
The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of the playoffs danced in their heads.
And when we awoke and December 28 was the date,
We just settled down for a winter's tailgate,
When out in the end zone there arose such a clatter,
The opponent looked over to see what was the matter.
In a huddle of players that looked like a flash,
The Ravens looked ready for a hard-hitting clash.
The season had boiled down to one single game
as the players were looking for more than just fame,
And what to my wondering eyes looked intense,
For it was Ray Lewis...and the Baltimore defense.
A terrifying unit, so lively and quick,
They’ll hit you, they’ll haunt you, or even grab the pick.
More rapid than wolves these hunters they came,
And Ray whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"T-Sizzle! now, JJ! now, Bannan, Haloti!
On, Trevor! on Leonhard! on, Reed and Samari!
To the top of the mountain! to the top of the hill!
Knock them out! Get the ball! Now in for the kill!"
And then, the offense, led by a menacing line,
Came onto the field and was ready to fly.
A three-headed monster was at running back,
led by McClain, a big rumbling mack.
And Mason the veteran, with his shoulder so sore,
Kept reining in passes, one, two, three, more!
And finally, a sight so perfect, so new;
a quarterback to be proud of, a little like Johnny U.
Joe Flacco was ready to take the city by storm,
his cannon for an arm much better than norm,
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And led them downfield, the fans going berserk.
The Ravens were ready to give such a gift
to the fans of Baltimore who needed the lift.
Coach Harbaugh exclaimed, while his team looked so sleek,
"Happy Festivus to all, and we’ll see you next week."
Luke Jones is a Bleacher Report Community Leader for the Baltimore Ravens.
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(6 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)
You need to be a registered member to rate this post.
Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Published: 12-13-10 - Complete - id:2872950
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'Twas the night before Festivus, when all through Charm City
Ravens fans were stirring and even felt giddy.
The jerseys were hung by the chimney with flare,
In hopes that Joe Flacco soon would be there.
The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of the playoffs danced in their heads.
And when we awoke and December 28 was the date,
We just settled down for a winter's tailgate,
When out in the end zone there arose such a clatter,
The opponent looked over to see what was the matter.
In a huddle of players that looked like a flash,
The Ravens looked ready for a hard-hitting clash.
The season had boiled down to one single game
as the players were looking for more than just fame,
And what to my wondering eyes looked intense,
For it was Ray Lewis...and the Baltimore defense.
A terrifying unit, so lively and quick,
They’ll hit you, they’ll haunt you, or even grab the pick.
More rapid than wolves these hunters they came,
And Ray whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"T-Sizzle! now, JJ! now, Bannan, Haloti!
On, Trevor! on Leonhard! on, Reed and Samari!
To the top of the mountain! to the top of the hill!
Knock them out! Get the ball! Now in for the kill!"
And then, the offense, led by a menacing line,
Came onto the field and was ready to fly.
A three-headed monster was at running back,
led by McClain, a big rumbling mack.
And Mason the veteran, with his shoulder so sore,
Kept reining in passes, one, two, three, more!
And finally, a sight so perfect, so new;
a quarterback to be proud of, a little like Johnny U.
Joe Flacco was ready to take the city by storm,
his cannon for an arm much better than norm,
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And led them downfield, the fans going berserk.
The Ravens were ready to give such a gift
to the fans of Baltimore who needed the lift.
Coach Harbaugh exclaimed, while his team looked so sleek,
"Happy Festivus to all, and we’ll see you next week."
Luke Jones is a Bleacher Report Community Leader for the Baltimore Ravens.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted On: December 1st, 2010
Posted By: Kalari
Posted in: DDO blogging
On the first day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me…
Some Grog from ole Sully.
On the second day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Two Mana pots.
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the third day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Three soul gems.
Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the fourth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Four Kargon’s hams.
Three soul gems, Two Mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the fifth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
“Five Spell-Storing Rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the sixth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Six barbarian’s raging.
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the seventh day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Seven Half-orcs snarling.
Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the eight day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Eight Djinn’s spinning.
Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the ninth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Nine devils dancing.
Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two Mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the tenth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Ten Orthon’s Head-banging.
Nine devils dancing, Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the eleventh day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Eleven altar’s crafting.
Ten Orthon’s Head-banging, Nine devils dancing, Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the Twelfth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Twelve nights of raiding.
Eleven altar’s crafting, Ten Orthon’s Head-banging, Nine devils dancing, Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
This is what happens when you have too much time/booze/no time for real gaming..hehe hope you enjoy and get this stuck in your head ^_^ Happy Holidays from Kalari and Family.
Some Grog from ole Sully.
On the second day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Two Mana pots.
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the third day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Three soul gems.
Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the fourth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Four Kargon’s hams.
Three soul gems, Two Mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the fifth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
“Five Spell-Storing Rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the sixth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Six barbarian’s raging.
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the seventh day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Seven Half-orcs snarling.
Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the eight day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Eight Djinn’s spinning.
Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the ninth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Nine devils dancing.
Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two Mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the tenth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Ten Orthon’s Head-banging.
Nine devils dancing, Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the eleventh day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Eleven altar’s crafting.
Ten Orthon’s Head-banging, Nine devils dancing, Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the Twelfth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Twelve nights of raiding.
Eleven altar’s crafting, Ten Orthon’s Head-banging, Nine devils dancing, Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
This is what happens when you have too much time/booze/no time for real gaming..hehe hope you enjoy and get this stuck in your head ^_^ Happy Holidays from Kalari and Family.
(6 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)You need to be a registered member to rate this post.
 Cari7 Author of 23 Stories |
Festivus Time is Here
Sound the bell, tis the season!
To buy and buy without rhyme or reason,
Things to mark off of our lists,
Lest our friends be very pissed,
All because they did not get,
A bauble adding to our debt.
A season meant to be full of joy,
Is now nothing but a marketing ploy.
Shiny things to fill our carts,
When really we should fill our hearts,
And sadly I say what I must,
A Festivus for the rest of us!
A shiny pole, gleaming bright.
An airing of grievances throughout the night.
No tinsel, no tree, no mistletoe,
The feats of strength are quite a show.
All the family together at last,
Whining, griping, until it's past
And after that, friends once more.
A gift not found in any store.
And so I leave you this final thought:
Focus on things that cannot be bought.
A shiny pole or trimmed out tree,
Make the season what it's supposed to be.
Give up all that retail lust,
It's Festivus for the rest of us!
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