Twas the night before Festivus
so what of the restofus
is this just George's Holiday?
We all have our grievances
and some may have strengths
but for others it is just one more day.
The airing of grievance does dinner adorn
let's gripe at the world
giving each one his turn.
In so many ways disappointment you bring
and of your shortcomings
all now we shall sing.
When dinner is done
dad wrestles each one
till we pin dear old dad to the floor.
For feats of great strength
are witnessed at length
as is custom from now ever more.
And what of the tree? I sent ours a packing
just a shiny new pole
I find tinsel distracting.
Then it is stories of events that I spin
of how Festivus Miracles
reunited old friends.
It comes once a year bringing way too much fuss
the common man's Holiday
for the restofus, it's called Festivus.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Festivus
Many have Christmas for holiday cheer
And Jews with Menorahs hold Hanukkah dear
The rest of us empty of our own special day
Until Frank Costanza, non-conformed, led the way
Festivus, Festivus, the day he devised
Four major pieces, you should be so advised
A Festivus Pole stands erect, unadorned
“Tinsel distracts me,” as Frank has since warned
Airing of Grievances would begin dinner plans
The disappointment in loved ones is heard by demands
“I’ve got a lot of problems with you people,” Frank’d angrily spit
And all ‘round the table, “Now you will hear about it!”
Then holiday supper does, of course, have its role
Feats of Strength are required for the night to be whole
If Festivus strikes you as especially clever
Make checks to “The Human Fund,” a “Money for People” endeavor
Copyright SGW 2009
Posted by STP at 6:00 AMThe Night Before Festivus
'Twas the night before Festivus, when all through Charm City
Ravens fans were stirring and even felt giddy.
The jerseys were hung by the chimney with flare,
In hopes that Joe Flacco soon would be there.
The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of the playoffs danced in their heads.
And when we awoke and December 28 was the date,
We just settled down for a winter's tailgate,
When out in the end zone there arose such a clatter,
The opponent looked over to see what was the matter.
In a huddle of players that looked like a flash,
The Ravens looked ready for a hard-hitting clash.
The season had boiled down to one single game
as the players were looking for more than just fame,
And what to my wondering eyes looked intense,
For it was Ray Lewis...and the Baltimore defense.
A terrifying unit, so lively and quick,
They’ll hit you, they’ll haunt you, or even grab the pick.
More rapid than wolves these hunters they came,
And Ray whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"T-Sizzle! now, JJ! now, Bannan, Haloti!
On, Trevor! on Leonhard! on, Reed and Samari!
To the top of the mountain! to the top of the hill!
Knock them out! Get the ball! Now in for the kill!"
And then, the offense, led by a menacing line,
Came onto the field and was ready to fly.
A three-headed monster was at running back,
led by McClain, a big rumbling mack.
And Mason the veteran, with his shoulder so sore,
Kept reining in passes, one, two, three, more!
And finally, a sight so perfect, so new;
a quarterback to be proud of, a little like Johnny U.
Joe Flacco was ready to take the city by storm,
his cannon for an arm much better than norm,
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And led them downfield, the fans going berserk.
The Ravens were ready to give such a gift
to the fans of Baltimore who needed the lift.
Coach Harbaugh exclaimed, while his team looked so sleek,
"Happy Festivus to all, and we’ll see you next week."
Luke Jones is a Bleacher Report Community Leader for the Baltimore Ravens.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted On: December 1st, 2010
Posted By: Kalari
On the first day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me…
Some Grog from ole Sully.
On the second day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Two Mana pots.
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the third day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Three soul gems.
Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the fourth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Four Kargon’s hams.
Three soul gems, Two Mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the fifth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
“Five Spell-Storing Rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the sixth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Six barbarian’s raging.
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the seventh day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Seven Half-orcs snarling.
Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the eight day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Eight Djinn’s spinning.
Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the ninth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Nine devils dancing.
Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two Mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the tenth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Ten Orthon’s Head-banging.
Nine devils dancing, Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the eleventh day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Eleven altar’s crafting.
Ten Orthon’s Head-banging, Nine devils dancing, Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
On the Twelfth day of Festivus, the Jester gave to me,
Twelve nights of raiding.
Eleven altar’s crafting, Ten Orthon’s Head-banging, Nine devils dancing, Eight Djinn’s spinning, Seven Half-orcs snarling, Six barbarian’s raging,
“Five spell-storing rings!”
Four Kargon’s hams, Three soul gems, Two mana pots,
And some Grog from ole Sully…
This is what happens when you have too much time/booze/no time for real gaming..hehe hope you enjoy and get this stuck in your head ^_^ Happy Holidays from Kalari and Family.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Cari7
Author of 23 Stories | |
Rated:
K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Published: 12-13-10 - Complete - id:2872950
Festivus Time is Here
Sound the bell, tis the season!
To buy and buy without rhyme or reason,
Things to mark off of our lists,
Lest our friends be very pissed,
All because they did not get,
A bauble adding to our debt.
A season meant to be full of joy,
Is now nothing but a marketing ploy.
Shiny things to fill our carts,
When really we should fill our hearts,
And sadly I say what I must,
A Festivus for the rest of us!
A shiny pole, gleaming bright.
An airing of grievances throughout the night.
No tinsel, no tree, no mistletoe,
The feats of strength are quite a show.
All the family together at last,
Whining, griping, until it's past
And after that, friends once more.
A gift not found in any store.
And so I leave you this final thought:
Focus on things that cannot be bought.
A shiny pole or trimmed out tree,
Make the season what it's supposed to be.
Give up all that retail lust,
It's Festivus for the rest of us!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Displaying the only post.
Twas the night before solstice, when all through Venice House
Not a creature was stirring, except for Rebekah’s lone mouse.
We gathered to celebrate and drink some good cheer,
But Todd had to wait until noon, to get his first beer.
The heathens we nestled all snug in each chair
As for religious symbols, there were none of them there.
And as Kendra and George looked out at their flock,
They regretted that they, ever allowed Sean to talk.
For it was one year to the day, since the very first meetup
It was time to relax, eat cake, and put our feet up.
We would celebrate Festivus, a secular day,
No ridiculous religious fables, to get in the way.
Welcome Andrea, Janet, Gregory, Monique,
Richard’s not here , so we don’t have a Dick.
It’s good to see Carmen, Julien, Allen, and Mel,
Great people like you, help this group to gel.
Welcome Janice, Myrtle, and Sheilah my kin,
Found an atheist group and we knew we were in.
Hello Selene, Jonathan, Jesse, and Dale,
With members like you, how can we possibly fail.
We have Jason, Bob, Dan, Phil, and Mark,
Who did some road painting, just for a lark.
And let us not forget that we have two Todds,
Who, like the rest of us, believe in no gods.
Greetings to Claude, Dylan, Gunner, and Troy,
And to Miriam, Miss Deb, Crystal, and Roy.
Fellow Freethinkers Brent, Ken, and Jerry,
Who know we don’t need Christ, to make us all merry.
Suddenly through the door, a Christian appeared,
No cheer in his heart, no happy white beard.
It was the opposite of the Santa, we’ve all come to love,
He came with disdain, certainly not from above.
He had no rosy cheeks, no nose like a cherry,
Despite the holiday season, he was not very merry.
No twinkling bright eyes, and no sack of toys,
No little round belly, though he made lots of noise.
He went into a tirade and called us by name,
“Atheist, heathen, godless, they all sound the same.
You’re secularizing Christmas, we want our day back”,
With vehement glee, he stayed on the attack.
“This is the celebration of our Saviour’s birth,
He saved all your souls, don’t you know what that’s worth?”
“Put Christ back in Christmas”, he said without fuss,
“You can’t take our holiday away from us!”
Jonathan stood up and said “don’t have a fit
With all due respect, this is fuckin’ bullshit!”
“We’re celebrating solstice, we’re reclaiming the season,
It goes back many millennia, and that is the reason.”
Mithra’s birthday, Saturnalia, the roots are quite deep,
Into this tradition, modern religions did creep.
Christianity usurped all existing custom and ritual,
Which isn’t surprising, because it’s so habitual.
You stole the holly, the Yule log, the gifting, the date,
Even December 25th as a birthday celebration, you did not create.
“You should know your history, then you’d have this knowledge,
What, did you go to some Biblical College?!”
So pack up your Myrrh, Frankincense, and gold,
With rational people, your story has no hold.
We Freethinkers celebrate solstice today,
There’s no blue eyed little lord Jesus asleep on the hay.
Good will and tolerance is something you know little about,
Those with differing beliefs, you always will flout.
This season is known for good will toward all,
Claiming it as your own, takes a whole lot of gall.
Because of your derision, we now ask you to leave,
And as for Christ in Christmas, we Freethinkers bereave.
What’s truly important at this time of year,
Is having friends like those in this room, so close and so near.
So let’s raise a glass and not shy away,
From celebrating solstice, and reclaiming this day.
And let’s love each other with all of our might,
Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good night.
Here’s your chance to share a message from your heart. Your poem can be on any subject, in any style. Winning poems will also be considered for publication. Ends soon. Enter Now!
No results found for "can you not help me with my poetry?". 
(6 votes, average: 4.17 out of 5)
